Painful week going by

Continuing from my last blog, well, this week has been pretty painful.

I am not sure if the weather is involved or if it is my stress levels, either way it's being a pain (see what I did).

I went out today with my mum, thinking I would be paid today as it is a Bank Holiday on Monday, netehhhh, no money, pretty naffed off, I hope I get paid tomorrow then I can buy my football boots, the phone for my bro and well top my phone up.

I haven't been taking my anti-depressants (bad I know), I will start them again on Monday as I need to be "alive" for my move, which is happening in nearly 3 weeks, ye know living like this as a 26 year old is hard, I should be out there playing my beloved football (I am slowly returning to it), getting fit and well just generally being a typical young adult, instead I am shutting myself indoors, why, because people do not understand I suffer from a condition that I cant control, I have no control over HMS or arthritis, none what so ever, if I am sore then I am sore, if I aint, then I aint, it is how it rolls for me.

I know I will be seeking further medical advice when I move to Aberdeen, because I do not want to live on a tablet that is not even trying to help me any more. I think this is what is wrong with the NHS, they do not want to try anything because they think the patient will be fine, well it is with NHS Fife by looks of things, I can understand them not wanting to up my dosage any more, but maybe trying a different medication will help, I really need to be in fit shape for college, mainly because I want to move onto university afterwards to "try" and obtain my BA Journalism, but without the right medical care and attention I really do not think this will happen. I do not want to fail I have come this far and well, it will all be just a waste and why, because I wasnt given the correct treatment at the correct time.

I think I am going to have a kick around the back garden with my older brother, but I have to say that I am looking forward to my move and I look forward to letting you all know on the day about it all :). I shall be off now, chow.

Pamie